What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
