I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
