Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
