there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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