you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
