Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
