We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we made out on top of his cat.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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