let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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