If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
