butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
