theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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