no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
