Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
