office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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