it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
