omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
