his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i dont even know how to be here
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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