She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
