There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize