MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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