she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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