erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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