I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
