On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
