My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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