my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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