I accidentally burped into my bong.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
