I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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