You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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