if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
