I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
