Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
