It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
