Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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