you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
