how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize