Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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