I'm going to jail i love you
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
