I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
