READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
