I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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