Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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