after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
