The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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