Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
