So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
