oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize