come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
