the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
