she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Randomize
