:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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