Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
cat food counts as protein by the way
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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