I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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