I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
