Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
