alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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