i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
