I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Randomize
