I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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