two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize