doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
