I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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