just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
