he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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