No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
