i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
