hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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