I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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