i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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